Thursday, October 27, 2011

Throwback Thursday

This is not my favorite memory from my pregnancy days, but I'm going to share it anyway.
October 17th – 32 weeks
Tried to get motivated to clean the house since our friends are coming next weekend.  Wasn’t as successful as I hoped.  I just didn’t want to clean (but I was really bothered by the mess).  I think my nesting instincts may be kicking in – all I see is dirt everywhere!  But it just overwhelms me & I wish it would just be clean.  I don’t have the energy.  I did mop the kitchen & bathroom floors (a task I hate).  The mop sponge started to tear & it wouldn’t wring out properly.  This resulted in standing water all over the floor (and me being very frustrated).  I didn’t have time to get a new mop sponge before yoga.  Michael came home from golf & I was in a very bad mood.  He went to Wal-Mart to get stuff for dinner & brought home a new mop (I really just needed the mop sponge but it was a really nice thought & now I have a backup).  I went to yoga & felt much better afterward.  When I got home, Michael was cooking & realized he was running behind.  I told him I had to take a shower anyway before my sister came over for Dexter.  I had JUST stepped out of the shower when I heard Michael yell & cuss.  I knew something bad had happened – I just hoped he had dropped dinner on the floor or something.  Then he yelled – I need some help here.  I barely got my towel wrapped around me & ran into the kitchen.  He had cut his finger on a knife.  I got the story a little later.  He had put the knife on the cutting board & it started to fall.  He was going to let it fall to the ground but then he realized Sadie was right under the knife eating her food.  So, he grabbed for the knife & it sliced his finger in a V shape.  He sacrificed his finger for our dog.  Aww…  He realized later she probably would have been fine since she has fur but he just reacted.  Anyway, when I came into the kitchen, he had his finger wrapped in a paper towel.  I ran & grabbed a washcloth & turned off the stove.  He told me I needed to get his insurance card to find out where he should go because he thought it was deep enough for stitches.  He took off the washcloth to clean the wound under the sink & it was a little too much for him.  He staggered across the kitchen & went to his knees on the carpet.  I told him to lay down & breathe (while trying to keep Sadie from trying to lick his face).  He told me later he started to black out & doesn’t even remember me being right there.  I frantically put on some clothes since my sister was due to show up any minute.  Then I got on the computer & the phone & tried to find out if there was an urgent care center still open.  By the way, Blue Cross Blue Shield’s website sucks!  So does their provider number.  The lady told me about an urgent care center (which I don’t think even existed) but said I’d have to call customer service to verify Michael’s coverage would apply.  Customer service was closed!  Ugh.  Amanda came over while I was on the phone & put a bandaid on the wound (the bleeding had slowed down).  She didn’t think it looked that bad.  His insurance card actually had a 24/7 nurseline, so Michael called that to see if they recommended that he go in for treatment.  She said to wash the wound out, apply pressure & hold it above his heart for 20 minutes, then put a bandaid on it.  Amanda went outside to grill the fish while I washed the wound.  As soon as Michael put his finger under the water, he was in major pain.  He handles pain pretty well (better than me – I’m much more vocal) & he was cussing & shaking – I knew it was hurting him bad.  It really bothered me.  I hated seeing him in so much pain.  We got it washed out as quickly as possible, then he laid down.  20 minutes later, it was still bleeding.  I found an urgent care center that was open until 10:00 on Sundays & called & confirmed they accepted his insurance.  Michael said we could watch Dexter & deal with it later but there was no way I could enjoy the show!  We got there about 8:45 & actually were in & out in about an hour.  The intern thought it may need stitches but may be ok with skin glue or butterfly bandaids.  The next lady said they could stitch it but it wasn’t necessary.  Michael opted not to get stitches – he hates needles like me!  They just cleaned it out & put a bandaid on it (and gave him a tetanus shot).  They also gave him a splint to keep from bending the finger & re-opening the wound.  It was all pretty stressful but thank goodness it wasn’t worse.  The whole situation gave me a lot of anxiety about having a kid, though.  I was pretty much sick to my stomach the whole evening & hated seeing him go through that.  I can’t imagine what it will be like with my child.  Plus, I know now that Michael seriously can’t handle blood.  What have we done??  I don’t know how I’m going to handle seeing my child in pain & help calm them down.  It’s too hard!  But I know I’ll just have to deal with it.  Such is life.  I just really don’t look forward to it…

Blech, that was a yucky night.  I'm not a big fan of blood (I could never be a doctor or nurse) & I knew Michael wasn't either, but I don't think I realized how it affected him.  Seeing blood or a wound grosses me out but I don't have a physical reaction to it.  Michael almost passed out, so it's not just a dislike thing for him.  Maybe Alex will never have an injury worse than a simple scrape (hey, I can always hope!)  This incident stayed with me for days.  It really gave me anxiety about dealing with an emergency.  How will I comfort Alex when he gets hurt & I can't make it immediately better?  I hate the thought.

A positive thing that came out of this was I felt more sympathy for Michael with the whole childbirth stuff.  He had admitted to me that he had a lot of anxiety about it because of his aversion to blood, etc.  It annoyed me a little because all he has to do is stand by my side & maybe hold a leg.  I mean, it's not like HE has to birth a child!  But the knife ordeal showed me two things.  1) He's not just being a wimp - he has a physical reaction to medical stuff.  And 2) It really, really sucks to watch someone you love be in pain & not be able to do much about it.  In fact, it's almost easier to be the one in pain than the one watching someone in pain.  I realized that it must be hard for guys to watch their women go through so much without being able to take some of the burden.

But if Michael found a way to carry & deliver our next child, I wouldn't object...   J

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